My sister committed suicide - rocking our family to the core. My life was filled with many emotions and questions, and none was bigger than the "Why?" question.

In 1984, my family was dealt a big blow. First, my father suffered a heart attack in which the doctors had to "shock" his heart to where it would beat again. About a month later, he suffered another milder heart attack and had to be hospitalized for several days.

My junior year, it all fell apart. Dealing with all the hurt, the loneliness and confusion pushed me to take the pills...
A neverending fog, not knowing a way out, feeling as though life had nothing to offer, that I was just a cosmic joke created by God for his amusement, feeling that death would offer endless supply of better alternatives to life.

'Your brother is dead.' My wife could barely get the words out, 'He took a shotgun and blew his head off.'

Paul's young lifeless body lay on the cold floor of his apartment for at least a week before anyone found him. Several questions ran through my mind. Why? Wasn't there anybody there to talk to him? And how come no one even noticed he was gone until almost eight days later?

Depression led me to try to take my life; but, God had other plans.

I was raised in a family where morals were very important but a relationship with God wasn't talked about. We went to church every Sunday, though, and I was baptized when I was 10 because it seemed like the right thing to do.
When I entered junior high, I met an amazing group of friends who I call the girls. They were different than any friends I'd ever had before. As I hung out with the girls, I began to crave what they had- lives centered around God.